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An Evening with Garry Bushell will, I hope, be as funny as it is truthful. The pompous, self-regarding elite are trying to over-turn democracy and we mustn’t stand for it.

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(I feel exactly the same about Stalinism, of course.

She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed told me about a new therapeutic massage parlour that had opened near us recently. The unfriendly Chinese woman behind the jump smiled weakly, insisted on a cash payment upfront and called a sultry Italian brunette to walk me through to a dingy backroom. Realising her mistake, the masseuse shot off to get some towels. Special thanks to the US musicians who backed us – Jay Letendre and Rodger Shosa from The Uprisers and Geoffrey C Palmer from The Connection; and of course the force of nature that was our backing singer Shira ‘Shiragirl’ Leigh.

I told her what was wrong, she nodded her head thoughtfully and the session began. It was at this point my suspicions that she might not have been fully medically trained were confirmed because it turned out that she’d decide to soak the towels in boiling hot water before applying them to the affected area. Back in the day, I daresay we would have been powered by little white lines but these health conscious times we relied on Oxylent vitamins to keep us going... Huge thanks to film-maker Sandie West who flew us over, and the great bands we shared stages with including Rat City Riot, Doug & The Slugz, Bad Ass, Matamoska & Corrupted Youth; plus Raine, Dylan and Leanne.

Military experts say the Army is now 20 years out of date, while the Royal Navy and the RAF are starved of funding. The legendary rhythm-and-blues singer had dozens of hits in the ’50s and early ’60s, including ‘Blueberry Hill’, ‘Ain’t That A Shame’ and ‘I’m Walkin’’ selling an incredible 65 million singles.

Effectively, our forces haven’t been so weak since the 1930s. Only Elvis was bigger – and even the King acknowledged “I can’t sing it – – like Fats Domino can.” With his two-fisted boogie-woogie piano, infectious smile and laidback vocals Fats was the style and sound of New Orleans personified but his music had a resonance around the world.

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